about me;

𝐤𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚 ; 一 sugarbun + gundampilot + emptyego + softcloud
she/her • esfj • usa 【 20% coffee 30% death 50% nostalgia 】
full-time nerd & old as f@ck. 𝐬𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤. leo sun w. cancer ascendant & cancer moon. I'm sensitive. loyal to the death for friends & loved ones. is a recovering pirate who enjoys pushing the agenda for complete world domination. lover & occasional student of multiple languages. dog mom to a golden retriever named Meadow. writes stories about unrequited romances & loves to share music playlists. old web, old tech & fandom enthusiast. lives for the 𝖆𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈★ ADHDbrain is currently hyper-fixating on BnHA, drawing, tarot divination & smart home tech.
♡ ; 一 슈퍼주니어, 타블로, fancy coffees, vampires, reading, bakugou fking katsuki tsundere explosive bois, autumn cheer, period dramas + campy horror movies, ❝classic❞ anime, cute fluffy animals, art/illustration, & power-user tricks for both MacOS and iOS.
✖ ; 一 spiders, the fun police, capitalism, politics, hate groups, people who are unnecessarily rude, people who bring drama to fandom, people who are aggressive about ships/canons, people who can't respect/who hurt others (including, but especially animals).

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current anime husbando;

Katsuki Bakugou
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Boku no hero academia

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kpop groups i still follow;

Super Junior ; 一 biases and ults list
I'm an OT15! ♡ We can't be friends if you feel otherwise. All the members, both past and present deserve love from ELF! If you're an #out of any kind, I don't know you and I don't want to know you. You don't have to stan everyone, but being a toxic person in the fandom does not make you a fan. You do not own the members. You do not get to choose who can and cannot be called a member of the SJ family. This is a huge point of contention among a lot of ELF, especially ones who have been around for so long... I will walk alongside the members, wherever their life choices end up leading them in and out of the group. I want them to get married. I want them to be happy. If you're against them being happy, this does not make you a fan. End of discussion.
I've been an ELF since Supergirl MV released (sometime around September 2009) from their SJ-M subunit. Though I was a casual listener of their short discography prior to this, when this MV debuted was when I decided to stan. Since then, Suju has gotten me through some of the hardest of times in my life, so I'm an ELF above all else. 💙 I've been able to see them live in person only once, but I want to see them again! :) It's my dream to go to a Super Show concert in Japan and to also go and also visit the Mouse Rabbit café in Korea. ♡ They're all special to me in their own way!I love them all, but I pay closest attention to these individual members:

  • Kyuhyun ♥

  • Yesung ♥

  • Donghae

  • Hyukjae

  • Sungmin

  • Leeteuk

Epik High ; 一 biases and ults list
I've been a HighSkool for as long as I can remember listening to kpop as a genre. Epik High was one of the first groups I started to stan, before the term ❝kpop❞ or ❝stanning❞ was even coined—just absolutely adoring their music, messages, and stage presence. It started when Swan Songs just debuted and a friend sent me their album to check out. :') Tablo has always been my bias. ♡ I recently saw them during their sleepless in__ tour, and I don't think I've cried that hard before. It was an amazing experience! I can't wait to see them again! Tablo's foray into the podcast world has left me both ecstatic as well as saddened, since he's now taking a break. :') Was the highlight of my weeks, tbh. I learned so much about his misc interestes that we both have in common, and it was so much fun to discover more reasons to love him. All the members are extremely kind and funny. The most humble of big stars. They deserve all the love they get, and so much much, more.

(G)I-DLE ; 一 biases and ults listI'm a very new Neverland, but I've enjoyed their whole discography and all of the MVs I have consumed to date. c: I don't know the members exceedingly well as some other groups that I've stanned, but from the few behind-the-scenes and variety show clips I've watched, I'm very drawn to both Soojin and Soyeon. ^o^ ♡ This is one of the only ❝newer❞ groups I'm currently following. ELF and Neverlands have gotten along well in a lot of the communities I've been involved in on SNS, and I hope we continue to have this great friendship! c: Some of the girls in the group are also ELF, which is amazing to me! ♥ I love that ^^
I've known about them since HANN mv dropped (a very addicting song with a gorgeous video), but I started to stan only after I saw them appear on super tv 2 as their special guests. They were so cute and funny! I had to know more about them! Then I saw their follow-up MV, and I'll never get over the stage presence of Oh My God. And the English version? ★chefs kiss★ These girls are all so talented! I've been so happy to learn new things about them. :)

others ; 一 groups that are no longer with us, or are not mentioned hereWhile the terminology is muddied these days, back in the day you were only considered a ❝stan❞ if you followed all of a group's activities, and you were just a ❝fan❞ if you only casually listened and caught them on various guest appearances of variety shows or dramas, etc. This is the way I've continued to look at things. c: For me, it just makes things more simple.I'm an older fan who started with a lot of Gen 1 + 2 groups and artists. I saw the rise and fall of a lot of companies, and a lot of crazy drama that came out much later on about behind the scenes activities.Unfortunately (for me), so many of these older gems have disbanded, retired, or are just on such a long hiatus that it's probably safe to assume they are not coming back any time soon. Also a few individuals who, due to various reasons, probably can't come back where people (the public) could accept them any longer, and the group won't/can't go on without them.I've followed dozens and dozens of groups since the very early 2000's, through their ups and downs, drama and tragedies, peak releases and goodbye stages. After the 2nd gen ten year contracts ended, I've really tapered back and become a mostly casual listener to any other newer groups. It was hard enough to learn the names of all the members of these older groups! ㅎㅎㅎ I've had a number of groups that I've become a fairly large fan of, but few I've continued to stay a stan of.And while I no longer stan some groups/artists as I once did, I am no less a fan today of these works. ♡ These days I'm also extremely busy, so I'm not able to fangirl as hard as I used to for so many misc amazing talented people... ^^; I try to catch their releases when I can (Thank Shisus for Apple Music notifications!), and there's a few solo artists of these groups that I try to help in streams with when possible, but beyond that, for my own mental health I've taken it a lot easier these days.There's also a couple of groups that are still around / active that I used to stan, but I've decided to become just a casual fan that enjoys their work as it comes out, or during the few stage performances I might check out through the months. Nothing against them whatsoever, just time restrictions and trying to give myself some breathing room to enjoy other activities outside of kpop. To be an A+ fangirl of kpop as a whole, as a ❝multi❞, it is increasingly difficult work! To stan only a small number of people is way less stressful for me as an adult. It also comes with a lot less drama. If you've been involved in kpop fandom for any period of time, you may understand exactly why I say this.There are also a few groups that I was a stan or a fan of, that I was a fan of, that I had to dip out of the fandom entirely because of other toxic people within the community... People that have truly ruined not only the experience of being associated with said group's other fans, but also being interested in even listening to said groups anymore. Not going to mention names of these fandoms, but it's made me a very, very tired fandom elder and one of the other reasons I don't go out of my way to look into a lot of the newer groups. I see the way these fans act on SNS, and I just don't want to be associated. It's embarassing.Before the more recent popularization of the genre, things were a lot less toxic. I honestly miss those days. I hate saying it, because I don't want to be some weird gatekeeper of the genre and this part of fandom (I'm honestly not ㅠㅠ I've been sending MVs to friends who didn't care about kpop for eons, doing my part! Wanting people to love it! Wanting to find people to talk to about it!), but it's just become so much more aggravating and stressful lately. I really wish these types of people who are newer to the kpop fandom would respect older fans (and older groups), and not make it more difficult to all enjoy this thing we like together. It's truly not that hard... It makes me sad that I have to say something like that about something I loved for so long.On that note, I honestly can't believe a music genre I've loved for so long is finally getting recognition it deserves! ; w ; It's baffling and enriching to know I was valid for loving this ❝niche❞ genre of music for so long, when so many people prior to this had no idea what it was or why I would care about music in languages not native to my country. ♡ Older artists truly paved the way with the Hallyu Wave for some of these new beautiful and amazing stages, and served as an inspiration for crazy talented people now making music. I'm constantly impressed by what I see molded and renewed, and I'm always so happy to see that it's only getting better with age. Kpop Golden Era is mostly faded into obscurity, but the legends will never die.I can't wait to see where the genre goes from here!

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currently;

  • writing: (𝐁𝐍𝐇𝐀) : story updates & descriptions here, read on ao3.

  • television: The Penguin (LR), Star Trek: VOY (season 06), Star Trek: DISCO (season 3)

  • anime: a ton of misc stuff

  • recently finished: The Crown (season 6) & House of the Dragon

  • plan to watch: the Spanish princess & Star Trek: Deep Space 9.

  • books I'm reading: goodreads / storygraph

  • manga: boku no hero academia (weekly) [finished 😭]

  • gaming: fire emblem heroes (ios)

I’ll keep fighting. I’ll break myself. even if there’s nothing left of me, I will win the way I want to.

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written & posted fanfiction;